Inspired by ‘THE DRUNKS’
Enter a commedia dell’arte FOOL. He stops in front of the audience, noticing them and grinning. In his hand he holds a bag.
(to himself he murmurs a limerick)
A tendency to sugar coat
Has historically floated the boat
Of politicians held dear
All out of the fear,
That without them, we’d all fail to vote
He stops in front of the audience, noticing them
Ahh ladies and gentlemen – you are very welcome.
I bet you’ve all had a little tipple haven’t ya?
A little drink? Hmm?
He glances around.
You’re probably all completely off your faces now. Cabbaged. Spangled. Crunk. I can tell.
He picks one member of the audience and points at them, laughing.
It’s in your eyes.
But it’s okay – this is England. And what are we all if not a little drunk?!
Now where was I?
He reaches into his bag and hands out newspapers to the front row. These serve as the shows programmes.
I’m sure you’ve all heard that hero is back in town.
(whispers) He’s teetotal.
Fucking insane, if you ask me.
Front page of every paper, he is!
Although, between you and me, my favourite page is 22.
Well go on. You can turn to it!
Audience are given a couple of seconds to open the page if they want. On this page is an article satirising major politicians entitled THE TOP TEN POLITICAL LOOKALIKES. Ed Miliband next to Wallace. Putin next to Dobby. And Cameron next to a pug.
Wonder what it’s like – being famous, acclaimed, noticed by top politicians. Jack’ll tell ya. He knows them all.
He knows the truth. He’ll show you.
Ladies and gentlemen…
I am proud to present…
He lifts up a large tabloid whose HEADLINE reads: ‘ACT ONE, SCENE ONE’ before exiting the stage.